27 Jun 2007
 | Creative Writing: The Fourth Abusing PLEASE NOTE: Today's session is only because I ran in the midst of a survey/ blog/ myspace curse that got me pulled in somehow. Now I have to do this shit. 1. I've become a complete dirtbag since Monday. As you know, Chris Benoit is RIP as of the result of a double murder-suicide. His death was shocking to me, but not painful. What hurt me was how someone's hard work and dedication can be utterly stepped on and destroyed thanks to personal reasons. Nearly everyone who ever loved or respected Chris (Mostly fans) have now degraded him in a new light due to how he has left the world. 2. I've always said that if someone dies, there is no grace for them if it is by suicide. After three years, I've decided to retire that quote from now on. What forces a man to kill his wife, child, and oneself I'll never know. I don't plan on having kids or hanging myself anytime soon. But I do know what its like to be confused, sad, or desperate for change when there is none. Chris risked his life for his family, and was so driven he had the nerve to bring them down by his own hand. There has to be a method to the madness we'll never understand. 3. Why won't we understand, aside from the fact he didn't leave a suicide note? Because WE DON'T KNOW BENOIT! Imagine if you were famous and loved by millions but had a personal life in the shithole due to reasons only known to you and the ones involved? Then, once again, for reasons only known to you, you go beserk and take out everyone around, including yourself? Remember, the DETAILS are only known to YOU. 4. Two days later, everyone sees you as a new person. You're not a contribution to society anymore. Merchandise hits the fire faster than a Beatles riot in the 60s. Your respect as a figure is no longer mentioned unless its internet blogs and the latest A&E documentary on dirtbag murderers. Why? Because society, and history alike, is evil. And it influences everyone around the world, left and right. 5. Its no different than when they excluded OJ Simpson from the Football Hall of Fame for accusations of murdering his wife, a crime he was not found guilty of, but STILL did not save his reputation as an athelete. Did OJ do it? Sure as hell looked like it, but by law he is a free man, so as much as I hate OJ, I can't take away his credibility as a football player, because he was indeed a great one. As a person, sure. But that's my stereotypical stupidity talking, not my brain. That's why I put it aside, because I DON'T KNOW SIMPSON. 6. The only difference between Benoit and Simpson is, well, we know Benoit did it, unless the Undertaker or Triple H have seen their fair share of CSI episodes. So I'm willing to put my distaste in murder and suicide on the counter for the sake of a man I did not know, but still respect nonetheless for his dedication in what he and I both love [wrestling]. 7. That's all I can do. Never judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. It's true, I insult people all the time on the news when I see a dumb murder if I don't know the guy, or see some nigga who doesn't know how to act. But that's out of my own ignorance, not by experience. 8. I've seen Benoit perform, live and on TV. He was a hard worker, and he abused himself day and night doing what he loved most so that he could have a reputation in wrestling. But like every other mother fucker in the world, he had a LIFE. Something we all possess that makes us want to kill just by thinking about we what must deal with day by day. Our flaws, dreams, obscenities, ugliness, goals, pervertedness, fears, anger, ambition of destruction to our enemies, the list goes on. The only thing that keeps us sane is what we love. 9. Sometimes what we love can be our greatest pain. 10. I remember writing a blog back in 2005 or so after Eddie Guerrero died that was listed on my Yahoo 360 page. Here is how it ended... No one, and I mean NO ONE should be judged or downgraded due to their death. The only reason why most [illegal] drugs are considered wrong are because the law makes it that way and presents the image that those particular drugs (Such as weed) are wrong. If it weren't against the law, then we wouldn't think anything of it, while at the same time, the same people would be dying everyday from that particular drug. My proof is the overexcessive use of cigarettes. Just because someone dies from an illegal drug (Or a drug considered illegal) doesn't make them a bad person. In fact, they should be praised NOT FOR DRUGGING UP, but because they went a path rivaled to our own lives. No one's life should be looked down upon just because the cause of the death came from the objections of Johnny Law. Yes, drugs kill people. So do people, weapons, nature, and even life itself. So next time you question a man who overdosed on heroin, make sure you get the guts to question the little girl who got shot in the head after being raped in the ass. And in this case, we have our own humanity to question. Must we really downplay someone for murder? We do if we were raised that way, but is it truly what we think it is? Maybe I am a dumbfuck for even taking Benoit or anyone's side for speaking like this, but I can't hate what I don't understand. So I can't hate a man for making his own rules. I'm sorry but I just can't. (All apologies to anyone who reads this, I'm just not feeling very good inside that's all. I spend so much time worrying about how people will see me when the time comes, I fuck up the time I have now...)
--Expirasin |
crappy 
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