Desperate Thinking: This isn't right. This isn't fucking right

Desperate Thinking: This isn’t right... this isn’t fucking right
Category: Blogging

1. This isn't right, I was supposed to be writing the pitch to an animated series I had in mind. One I could possibly have greenlit by the one network I'd gladly give up my balls for and Ted Turner wouldn't give a flying fuck if I did, Cartoon Network.

2. Instead, after telling myself "You can't sell it if you don't write it" a thousand times for motivation, I go to toonzone.net for news only to find the worst news has come. Yes, anime heads, Toonami has been cancelled. They've canned the only TV block that has saved their ass from the fryer for the past 10 years...

2. And this is the fucker that killed it.

Look at him, he even looks like a murderer. This fag isn't even familiar with cartoons. He works with Sci-Fi network and is responsible for their REALITY series line. He lives in Burbank, CA. Cartoon Network's base is in Georgia! Yes, there is such thing as a plane, but he doesn't care about the cause. He just wants a fucking paycheck. For proof, see the new Star Wars cartoon and
Total Drama Island. Hell, look at the Secret Saturdays.
Fuck, look at Cartoon Network now!

3. Yes, I have two friends close to me who have lost both family and friends, but this is my funeral. Anyone who knows me knows last year I was head over heels happy about "El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera", and Kids WB lasting longer than its own fucking network, now they're both gone. Toonami wasn't always my fruit in a basket, but it served a purpose and it lived UP to it.

4. When I was nine years old in Virgina Beach, I used to go home from a humiliating day of school known as the boy who would throw up lunch all the time, and watch "SUPER ADVENTURES", a two hour block composed of old superhero classics like Herculoids and Johnny Quest, and montages that should've given me my first seizure before dinner could be cooked. It was fun, simple, and it was a gift to me. Anything that wasn't homework or peers could've been a gift at that time. I wouldn't have had it any other way because Power Rangers only lasted so long on broadcast.

5. Needless to say, Toonami came around over a year later. It wasn't American-based, like Super Adventures, but it was at least hosted by Moltar, a villian of one of my favorites, Space Ghost. Don't get excited, all he did was pull some fucking levers. I didn't like a lot of the shows either. There was Gundam Wing, Thundercats, and V-Force I think. Everything had changed and I didn't know why. But at least I knew what the point was-- Space was the place, and Moltar was going to lead me the way... so I watched.

6. It took a while for Toonami to make sense. Or to have a show that made you remember it. But when it did (Dragonball Z) I watched it like my life depended on it. I would spend more time watching Toonami than I would talking to my great Grandmother. She's the one who even got me into cartoons! Off away from the trenches of Northwest Junior High, onward the trails of 3949 Country Club Dr., hiding beyond the mental and emotional abuse of my uncle Ricky... WE... HAVE... GOKU!!!! Or my personal fave, Piccolo.

7.


8. I'm not asking for the good ol' days, no, I have YouTube for that. But I would gladly give up a handful of my family members (If you have the decency to read this, its definitely not you) so I could get another year of Kids WB or El Tigre or Toonami, or just to have that feeling that I'm getting a gift out of watching what's pulled me up and made my life worthwhile this whole twenty or so years.

9. If you think I'm taking this too far, I don't blame you. It is silly that I'm making a TV block seem like the premise of my life. I'm only 22, Toonami's only been around like what, 11 years? I mean seriously! What's half of my life mean anyway? There will be other programs, more blocks hopefully, but chances are those won't be worthwhile. We're in a zone right now where not only our politics are inane, but the line between happiness, death, and success are all too visible. I'm a writer. Always have been since age 9. Thought I had a God-given gift, but knew nothing about the skill needed to achieve fulfillment of reputation until a much later age. Entertainment is struggling to achieve, and it can't do shit without corporation sponsorship. I guess its like clinging for pleasure from a Barbie doll made in a Chinese sweatshop. And here in this little surburban home, I don't have shit except for this computer and a few other necessities from my past I still make use of. How am I supposed to fulfill that success I have long since been dreaming of...?

10.