awake Category: Blogging
I'm considering myself lucky today, because if it weren't for the Chinese food I'd be ready to go to sleep after a relatively boring Sunday. The only entertainment I had before the fortune cookie was Rodney Dangerfield jokes and some god-forsaken game show on Fox where people pretend to be Tetris shapes. Yep, the US continues to emulate the Japanese horribly. But it could be worse, could've been on ABC.
Anyway, the MSG from the over fried noodles lead me to thinking "Hey, the VMA awards was today so why don't I dedicate my own awards article for videos?? Sounds like a pretty dandy idea, right? Well regardless of what your opinion is, I'm doing it and I'd be glad if you came to join me on my incredible adventure. But one random thought before we start…
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I BRING TO YOU, THE DTVA2: DESPERATE THINKING VIDEO AWARDS ARTICLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also shout out to the new World Champs, Chris Jericho… and Melissa Hernandez.
The I WANT TO KILL YOU AWARD GOES TO…
Lil' Wayne!!!!
For what: Destroying Hip Hop's credibility…
RUNNER UP: TI, for just being T.I.
The BEST SKETCH COMEDY OF THE YEAR SO FAR GOES TO…
IFH Mondays
Why: That shit's still funny to me, besides I hate those party restaurants cause the alcohol's lame.
RUNNER UP: A Tie between Man in the Box and anything by Asa Thibodaux.
The VIDEO I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T SEEN YET AWARD GOES TO…
Lorenagade and Anarchious—Pull Out
Why: The song's not the best, but I love the fucking effort these guys put in it.
RUNNER UP: Sneezing Panda (Extreme version) By MyWayEntertainment
The FUCK YOU AWARD GOES TO…
anything you see on YouTube's front page, yep.
Why: You know why.
The CAC (Classic and Cheap) AWARD GOES TO…
The Marvel / DC Parodies!!!
Why: The value of these videos are more costly than the toys themselves.
The SHUT UP AND TAKE IT OFF ALREADY AWARD GOES TO…
Shelley Martinez!
Why: Watch and be pissed.
The WELL ON YOUR WAY AWARD GOES TO:
Fred Salimi, AKA Weapon X!!!
Why: His Ultimate Warrior videos will lead him to stardom… maybe.
The SERIOUSLY, I ALMOST WENT TO SLEEP ON THIS AWARD GOES TO:
John McCain!!!!!!
Why: If it weren't for the hyped up crowd, I would've turned it off when he started going, "My friends…"
The THROWBACK, NOT SO MUCH AWARD GOES TO:
The Black Cat in the Hat!!!
Why: The Car door scene is fucking hilariously on my level!!!
The METAPHOR or FANTASY VIOLENCE MADE CUTE AWARD GOES TO: Kate Micucci's Dear Deer!!
Why: Because I can't stop kissing Kate's ass, okay?
The MOVIE I STILL WON'T WATCH BECAUSE I STILL THINK VAL KILMER IS THE BEST BATMAN AND I DON'T WANT TO RUIN THAT AWARD goes to:
The Dark Fucking Knight!!!
Why: Because I'm weak and I hate the truth, okay????
Well, everyone… I hope you enjoyed the awards show, and if you didn't watch all the videos I understand. Of course, I hope you did because for a lot of people, this attempt at viral internet classics stuff is really hard and to only get like 400 views for your work is really similar to a monkey throwing his feces at you while you're visiting the zoo. Take care everyone.
--Expirasin
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