Desperate Thinking: Kilobyte Fruit on a Limewire Tree

31 Mar 2008

Desperate Thinking: Kilobyte Fruit on a Limewire Tree Current mood: awake Category: Blogging Ladies and gentlemen this blog is scheduled for 10 rounds and is for the "Desperate Thinking Championship"… in this corner… from Jackson and Meridian, MS… at 5’10", weighing in at 217 lbs… the Dirty Southpaw… Expirasin!!! Get ready, this is a long one... 1. I had to take a break from internet interaction these past two weeks due to finishing the very first TV pilot I’ve ever written entitled "Posey’s Pockets". Due to processing of publication, I can’t publicly let anyone see it, but close people to me are welcome to it if they ask. I even included two characters (Fred and Alex) who are counterparts of Weapon X and AnP, two of my favorite independent artists right now. 2. I learned also that I have a HUGE problem with making too many assumptions. This has been a known problem to me since I was 12, but this time my stepfather noticed and it kind of bit me in the ass. I’ve been trying to find work in Turner Broadcasting for years and I came close when I found out about their intern program (Which unfortunately was for college students, and unpaid). 3. Being a graduate already, I thought I was screwed but I tried to find a loophole for a week. And underneath my nose was a trainee program (Pay with benefits) that I didn’t understand so I didn’t apply for it. Two weeks later I look into it again (Along with READING it) and I was sure I could’ve gotten it if I did what I was supposed to. But the deadline was in a week and a half (the 31st)! I bust my ass, finish my pilot script, and send the script in to the mail by Saturday afternoon, which was good. But if I hadn’t assumed the internship was all I was good enough for, or that Turner Broadcasting would FOREVER be looking for trainees, OR that delivering a package overnight would be less than ten bucks, I wouldn’t have had to drug myself on Red Bull or ask my stepfather for money I needed for a golden opportunity. He said he was happy to give the money, but he was upset that I assumed he would have it at the last minute. Which I did. Once again, thanks Ronny. 4. A moment of spontaneity happened when my sister (A usual club person) needed someone to go to the Level 2 Club with her the other night. She asked me if I wanted to go (I didn’t) and I decided to, since her boyfriend was too tired to watch her back, which was cool. I dress up, we ride down to the area, and I saw the one thing that completely shook me up about urban lifestyle… THERE WAS A WAL-MART NEXT TO THE CLUB!!! Allow me elaborate, IT WASN’T A FEW BLOCKS DOWN, IT WASN’T ACROSS THE STREET, THEY WERE SIDE BY SIDE ON THE SAME OUTLET PLAZA!!! Anyway, that was enough to shock me to an early grave, but when I went up to the bouncer to go in, I wasn’t admitted because apparently females can be 21 and enter, but men must be 25!! Funny how these things work out, huh? All I needed to see was that damn Wal-Mart though. 5. I have an issue. Remember that girl I told you all about in the last entry? The one who told me to stop cussing because of God? She won’t stop ****ing calling me! Every **** day she calls me! Even my best friends don’t call me everyday and if they do they have something to talk about besides absolutely nothing. I can’t take this crap! The only reason I’m still talking to her is because my mother introduced me to her and she goes to school with her. So I’ve been doing all I can to just creep her out or make her sick of me but nothing works. Maybe if she reads my blog she’ll leave me alone... maybe… 6. And just in case you’re wondering, I don’t want to have sex with her (She wants it I’m sure though) because if I hit it and quit it my family will probably never forgive me for it. Besides that’s just not my thing. Not sex, just using someone’s emotions for it. 7. You know, this blog is probably gonna come back to haunt me. Yep, I think this is one of those blogs. 8. WRESTLEMANIA 24 WAS OFF THE CHAIN!!! I thought it was gonna be predictable and plain, but something in my head told me they spent way too much money to blow this one so I spent lots of my time trying to watch it online for free before it started. And how’s this for a surprise? My mother wanted to see Floyd Mayweather’s main event so she paid for it without even thinking! What a surprise for me! I’m not going to give one of those wrestling fanboy reviews or anything like that, but I will say I haven’t been that excited at a PPV since I saw one in person. 9. Speaking of pro wrestling, my brother Otha and I are in talks of developing our own wrestling video blog show. We already have a name, now I’m assembling the premise and structure. It will be meant to show fan-style opinions but with a comedic heel output that you can only find in, well, pro wrestling! 10. And last but not least, I’d like to vent out on someone for the second time… STEVE FUCKING CARELL. I’ve been a fan of the show "Get Smart" ever since I was five years old, watching Nick at Nite at 2 in the morning eating Corn Flakes at my Grandmother’s house. I was obsessed with the Maxwell Smart character growing up because he was always technologically advanced but too dimwitted to be James Bond. Sort of like a Don ..Quixote mixed with Mission Impossible if you will. Well, as if his constant presence hasn’t already smashed my cranium, Carell is now starring in the remake of my beloved classic and I have one problem with the trailer… the guy onscreen is not the CHARACTER of Maxwell Smart, but the character of STEVE CARELL! The same simple minded, Dane Cook dialogue snatching, Seinfeld inferiority complex as all his other movies!!! Carell, I mean this from the bottom of my heart, if you screw this up, I will put aside my ambitions to brutally beat Lil’ Bow Wow and hunt you down like the disabled Gulf War veteran of acting that you are, sell a script to your favorite Director friend, cast you in the movie, win a big award for it, and when its my time to go on stage and give thanks, rather than thank you… I’ll be thanking your wife for her fantastic tongue tricks and delicious cookie recipes. And your winner (And only contender) still "Desperate Thinking" champion... EXPIRASIN!!!!